How to Help Someone with Anxiety When You're Not Sure What to Do
Supporting someone with anxiety can feel overwhelming, especially if you’re unsure where to start. According to Anxiety and Depression Association of America, anxiety is one of the most common mental health conditions, affecting over 40 million adults in the U.S. every year. Whether it’s a loved one’s anxiety or a friend struggling with anxious thoughts, small, thoughtful actions can make a significant difference.
You don’t need to have all the answers to help someone with anxiety. Often, being present, offering emotional support, and showing understanding can help the person feel less isolated. From managing anxiety symptoms to encouraging them to seek professional help, there are many ways you can support someone you care about.
In this article, we’ll explore:
How to tell if someone is struggling with anxiety to help you to empathise
Anxiety interventions that make a real difference
How to prevent anxiety in other people by fostering a calming environment
What to say to someone with anxiety to show empathy
What not to say to someone with anxiety to avoid making their anxiety worse
Supporting someone with anxiety is a journey, and it’s okay to take it one step at a time. Ready to learn more? Let’s dive in.
How to Tell if a Loved One Might Be Struggling with Anxiety
Recognizing anxiety in someone you care about can be challenging, especially since it shows up differently for everyone. Being aware of the signs can help you understand their experience and be in a better position to help. Anxiety can help us stay alert in certain situations, but when it becomes overwhelming, it can interfere with daily life.
Common symptoms of anxiety to look for:
Physical symptoms: A person with anxiety may feel like they’re always on edge. Look for signs like restlessness, fatigue, rapid breathing, or an increased heart rate.
Behavioral changes: Anxiety often leads to avoidance behaviors, such as withdrawing from social activities or struggling to complete everyday tasks.
Emotional signs: Notice any of the following: excessive worry, irritability, or feelings of dread. They might also express fears that seem out of proportion to the situation.
Different symptoms in eating or sleeping habits: Anxiety can disrupt routines, leading to changes in appetite, difficulty sleeping, or even signs of an eating disorder.
If you think someone might be struggling, gently ask your loved one how they’re feeling. Simply having someone to talk to can make a big difference. Saying, “I’m here to listen if you need someone to talk to,” can encourage them to open up.
Remember, there are many ways you can help. Peer support, offering to go with them to seek additional mental health care, or just being there can help you empathize and offer meaningful support. Being informed about anxiety helps you take the right steps to support your loved one effectively.
Anxiety Interventions: How to Help Someone with Anxiety Attacks
Knowing how to help someone with anxiety can make a world of difference for a person experiencing anxiety. Anxiety isn’t always easy to understand, but thoughtful support can reduce stress and help them feel less isolated. Here are some practical, evidence-based ways you can provide meaningful help:
Ask open-ended questions: Create a safe space for sharing by saying things like, “What’s been on your mind lately?” or “How can I support you right now?” Encouraging conversation helps them feel heard and supported without judgment.
Practice grounding techniques together: Grounding exercises, such as deep breathing, mindfulness, or focusing on physical sensations, can help someone dealing with anxiety feel more present. Research shows that mindfulness can reduce symptoms of anxiety and stress.
Engage in calming activities: Simple actions like taking a walk, practicing yoga, or listening to soothing music can help someone you know who’s struggling with anxiety feel supported.
Listen without judgment: It’s understandable to feel unsure, but your role isn’t to “fix” them. Offering a compassionate ear and avoiding dismissive phrases like “You’re overreacting” can help them feel validated.
Encourage seeking professional help if needed: For someone experiencing significant anxiety or physical symptoms, suggest reaching out to a mental health professional for additional support. Therapy or support groups can provide effective, long-term strategies for managing anxiety.
Additional Reading: You might also want to read about Leaves on a Stream: A Mindfulness Exercise to Help You Let Go.
By showing patience and empathy, you can create an environment where the person you care about feels less overwhelmed and better equipped to navigate their anxiety.
What to Say to Someone with Anxiety Disorder
Knowing what to say to someone with anxiety can make a big difference in helping them feel supported and understood. Compassionate, validating language reassures them that they’re not alone and encourages them to open up. Here are some calming, supportive things to say when someone is struggling:
“I’m here for you no matter what.” This simple statement shows unconditional support, which can help a loved one with anxiety feel less isolated.
“It’s okay to feel this way. Let’s take it one step at a time.” This phrase normalizes their experience, reduces shame, and helps them focus on manageable steps instead of feeling overwhelmed.
“I might not understand exactly how you feel, but I want to help.” Acknowledging that you might not fully grasp their experience while still offering to help can make them feel heard and appreciated.
Reassurance and patience are essential when figuring out how to help someone with anxiety. People with anxiety disorders may experience physical symptoms like increased heart rate, sweating, or irritability. By remaining calm and present, you help them feel less stressed.
It’s also important to express appreciation for their courage. Say something like:
“I admire how strong you are in facing this.”
Words like these can offer hope and encouragement, making a person feel supported. When you use thoughtful language, you’re engaging in effective anxiety interventions and finding the best ways to support a loved one.
What Not to Say to Someone with Anxiety
When you’re figuring out how to help someone with anxiety, it’s just as important to know what not to say. Even well-meaning comments can sometimes feel dismissive or invalidating, making someone’s anxiety worse. Here are common phrases to avoid and why they can be unhelpful:
“Just relax, it’s not a big deal.” While you might think you’re reassuring them, this comment minimizes their feelings and can make them feel isolated or misunderstood. Anxiety isn’t something people can simply “turn off.”
“You’re overreacting.” This phrase invalidates their experience, suggesting their emotions aren’t justified. People experiencing anxiety often feel stressed, overwhelmed, or even embarrassed. Minimizing their reaction can increase irritability or make them retreat.
“You’ll get over it.” Anxiety may not be a temporary issue. For someone with an anxiety disorder or frequent panic attacks, this phrase implies their struggle isn’t significant, which can discourage them from seeking mental health treatment.
Instead of these phrases, focus on validating their feelings and offering practical support. For example:
“It sounds like you’re going through a lot. I’m here for you.”
“What can I do to help you feel more supported right now?”
Understanding what not to say to someone with anxiety is one of the best ways to support a loved one. By offering compassion instead of quick fixes, you help them feel heard, supported, and in a better position to seek professional help if needed.
How to Prevent Anxiety in Other People
While you can’t eliminate someone’s anxiety entirely, creating a calming and supportive environment can reduce stress and help prevent triggers from escalating. By fostering trust and modeling resilience, you can make a meaningful difference in someone’s mental well-being. Here are some actionable steps:
Foster open communication and mutual trust: Encouraging someone you love to share their feelings can help reduce feelings of isolation and stress. Ask gentle questions like, “How can I support you?” This builds trust and shows you’re there to help without judgment.
Promote proactive coping strategies: According to Harvard Health, activities like regular exercise, sufficient sleep, and self-care have been shown to significantly reduce symptoms of anxiety. Encouraging these habits can provide a strong foundation for managing stress and anxiety.
Recognize and minimize triggers: People with anxiety may feel overwhelmed by certain situations. It’s important to encourage understanding without being controlling. For example, if a loved one feels anxious in crowded spaces, offer to help them plan quieter alternatives.
Model calm and resilience: Anxiety can also be influenced by the energy of those around us. By staying calm in stressful situations, you demonstrate practical ways to manage stress and reduce anxiety. Your example can empower friends or family members to approach challenges with more confidence.
Encourage seeking help if needed: If someone’s anxiety often leads to panic attacks or persistent stress, it’s important to encourage them to seek professional mental health support. Therapists can offer tools to manage anxiety in the long term.
By creating a supportive environment and leading with empathy, you can provide ways to help prevent anxiety in other people while strengthening your connection with them.
Struggling with Anxiety? Seek Professional Help with Ritenour Consulting in San Ramon, CA
If you’ve noticed someone experiencing anxiety or you’re concerned about a loved one’s mental health, Ritenour Consulting in San Ramon, CA, is here to help. We are a compassionate, evidence-based therapy practice dedicated to helping individuals and families navigate the challenges of anxiety, depression, stress, and other mental health concerns.
As experienced anxiety therapists, we create a warm and empowering environment for children, teens, and adults. We prioritize building trust, tailoring therapy to your unique needs, and making sure you or your loved one feel supported every step of the way.
Here’s how we can help:
Expert anxiety interventions: We provide tools to manage anxiety attacks, health anxiety, and panic disorders.
Empathy-driven care: Whether you’re learning how to help someone with anxiety or addressing your own challenges, we offer support that meets you where you are.
Personalized treatment plans: We focus on understanding your goals and creating a therapy plan that works for you.
Evidence-based approaches: Using proven techniques like cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), we help clients find long-lasting relief from anxiety and stress.
If you or someone you care about needs more support, don’t wait. Reach out to Ritenour Consulting today to find the help you deserve. Whether you’re seeking answers to questions like what to say to someone with anxiety or looking for professional care, we are here to guide you on the path to wellness.