Why Separation Anxiety in Adults Happens—And How to Overcome It
Separation anxiety disorder in children is a common struggle—a child may often experience distress when separated from a parent or caregiver. But what happens when those same overwhelming feelings persist into adulthood? Or when an adult suddenly develops an intense fear of being away from their romantic partner, family member, or close friend?
For some, the fear of being apart from a loved one can become so severe that it interferes with daily life, relationships, and mental well-being. While mild distress about separation is normal, separation anxiety disorder in adults is more intense and persistent, often leading to panic attacks, avoidance behaviors, and significant emotional distress.
Keep reading to find out:
What is adult separation anxiety disorder, and how does it differ from childhood separation anxiety?
What are the symptoms and causes of separation anxiety disorder in adults?
How to cope with separation anxiety and effective treatment options.
If you or someone you know struggles with separation anxiety disorder symptoms, understanding its causes, risk factors, and treatments can help build emotional resilience and independence.
What Is Separation Anxiety?
While separation anxiety disorder is most commonly diagnosed in children, many adults experience it as well. In fact, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) recognizes separation anxiety disorder in adults as a distinct mental health condition.
For some, separation anxiety may develop in childhood and persist into adulthood, while others may develop it later in life due to trauma, major life changes, or the loss of a loved one. Unlike childhood separation anxiety, which is usually centered around parents or caregivers, this type of anxiety disorder often involves a romantic partner, close family member, or friend.
Symptoms of Separation Anxiety Disorder in Adults
Adults with separation anxiety disorder may experience:
Excessive fear of being apart from a loved one
Intense worry about the safety or well-being of a partner, parent, or friend
Panic attacks, nausea, or headaches when anticipating separation
Avoidance of travel or social events that require being away from a loved one
Needing constant reassurance and frequent communication with a loved one
Difficulty sleeping or concentrating when apart from loved ones
Causes of Separation Anxiety Disorder in Adults
There is no single cause of separation anxiety disorder, but several factors can contribute to its development and severity:
Childhood separation anxiety – Adults who had childhood separation anxiety disorder may be more likely to experience this type of anxiety into adulthood.
Loss of a loved one – A breakup, divorce, or death can trigger separation anxiety, especially if the person relied heavily on the attachment figure for emotional support.
Underlying anxiety disorders – Many people with separation anxiety disorder symptoms also struggle with generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder, or attachment-related trauma.
Major life transitions – Moving away from home, starting a new job, or experiencing a long-distance relationship can increase separation anxiety symptoms.
Past trauma or neglect – Adults who experienced childhood trauma, neglect, or abandonment may have separation anxiety disorder symptoms in their relationships.
Additional Reading: Do you know someone who is battling anxiety? You might want to read How to Help Someone with Anxiety When You're Not Sure What to Do.
Recognizing Separation Anxiety in Adults
While separation anxiety disorder is a mental health condition, it is often misunderstood or overlooked in adults. Recognizing the symptoms of separation anxiety disorder is an essential first step toward finding effective treatment and support.
How to Cope with Separation Anxiety in Your Daily Life
Living with separation anxiety as an adult can be exhausting and overwhelming. The fear of being apart from a loved one can create emotional distress, lead to avoidance behaviors, and interfere with daily life.
The good news? There are effective strategies to cope with separation anxiety and build emotional resilience. Learning how to manage symptoms can help individuals feel more secure and independent even when apart from loved ones.
Challenge Negative Thoughts – Many adults with separation anxiety struggle with irrational fears, such as "If I'm not with my partner, something terrible will happen." Practicing cognitive reframing can help reduce excessive fear and anxiety.
Use Gradual Exposure Therapy – Slowly increasing time spent apart from loved ones can help desensitize the brain’s fear response.
Practice Self-Soothing Techniques – Engaging in mindfulness, deep breathing exercises, and relaxation techniques can help reduce physical symptoms of separation anxiety.
Set Healthy Boundaries – Avoid excessive reassurance-seeking, such as texting a partner multiple times per day for comfort. Learning to tolerate uncertainty and distance can help foster emotional independence.
Develop a Support System – Connecting with friends, support groups, or a therapist can provide reassurance and help reduce feelings of dependency.
Additional Reading: Learn more Practical Coping Skills for Anxiety You Can Use Every Day.
While separation anxiety in adults can be distressing, practicing self-awareness and coping strategies can help individuals feel more secure and confident in their independence. With time and effort, it is possible to manage your symptoms and maintain healthy, balanced relationships without overwhelming fear.
Coping with Separation Anxiety: Treatment and Support
Separation anxiety disorder is a mental health condition that can be treated. With the right management and treatment, individuals can regain confidence, build emotional resilience, and overcome the fear of being apart from loved ones.
How Is Separation Anxiety Disorder Diagnosed?
Separation anxiety disorder is usually diagnosed based on the severity, persistence, and impact of symptoms on daily life. Unlike normal feelings of missing someone, separation anxiety disorder symptoms are more intense and may lead to panic attacks, avoidance behaviors, and constant worry.
To be diagnosed with separation anxiety disorder in adults, symptoms must:
Persist for at least six months
Cause significant distress or impairment in work, relationships, or daily functioning
Not be better explained by another mental health condition (such as generalized anxiety disorder or agoraphobia)
1. Therapy for Separation Anxiety Disorder
Therapy is one of the most effective treatments for separation anxiety disorder. Common therapeutic approaches include:
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
One of the most effective treatments for separation anxiety disorder in adults is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). This therapy helps individuals:
Recognize and challenge irrational thoughts about separation
Develop healthier coping mechanisms to reduce anxiety
Gradually reduce avoidance behaviors associated with separation fears
CBT is particularly effective because it helps individuals reframe negative thought patterns, reducing their need for constant reassurance and helping them build confidence in being independent from their attachment figures.
Exposure Therapy
Exposure Therapy is another widely used treatment for separation anxiety disorder. This method involves:
Gradual exposure to separation in a controlled and safe manner
Practicing coping techniques while experiencing separation-related distress
Reducing avoidance behaviors by facing separation fears step by step
For example, an individual who struggles to be away from their partner may start by spending short periods of time apart and gradually extend that time while practicing anxiety-reduction techniques.
Attachment-Based Therapy
Since separation anxiety disorder in adults is often related to attachment issues, Attachment-Based Therapy can help address unresolved childhood fears, insecure attachment styles, and past relationship traumas.
This therapy focuses on:
Understanding how early attachment experiences impact separation anxiety
Developing secure emotional connections while maintaining independence
Reducing fears of abandonment and loss
For individuals who feel overly dependent on a partner, friend, or family member, Attachment-Based Therapy can be a powerful tool for building emotional security and self-reliance.
Additional Reading: Discover more types of anxiety in Not All Anxiety Looks the Same - Breaking Down the Common Types of Anxiety Disorders.
Lifestyle Changes and Support Systems
Managing separation anxiety disorder in adults isn’t just about therapy and medication—it’s also about the daily habits and mindset shifts that help build emotional resilience and independence. While separation anxiety can feel overwhelming, making small, intentional changes in your routine can reduce excessive fear or anxiety when separated from a loved one and help you regain a sense of control.
Building Emotional Independence
Develop a sense of identity outside of relationships – Engage in hobbies, work, and personal interests that provide fulfillment outside of attachment figures.
Set small, achievable independence goals – Start with short separations and gradually build confidence in being alone without distress.
Challenge negative thoughts about separation – Reframe fears by reminding yourself that temporary separation is not permanent loss.
Practicing Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques
Breathing exercises – Deep breathing can help reduce physical symptoms of anxiety.
Journaling – Writing about emotions and identifying triggers can help manage separation-related distress.
Meditation and grounding techniques – These help individuals stay present and avoid spiraling into catastrophic thoughts about separation.
Support Systems and Community Engagement
Join a support group – Connecting with others experiencing separation anxiety disorder symptoms can help normalize emotions and reduce feelings of isolation.
Talk to trusted friends and family – Having open conversations about separation anxiety disorder can help build understanding and support.
Work with a therapist – Ongoing therapy sessions can provide structured guidance and emotional reassurance.
Additional Reading: You might also want to read Why Can't I Do Anything Right? Strategies to Overcome Perfectionism and Self-Criticism.
Seeking therapy, considering treatment options, and making small, meaningful changes can help individuals with separation anxiety disorder regain confidence and reduce fear of separation.
Struggling with Separation Anxiety Disorder Symptoms? We Can Help You Reclaim Your Emotional Independence!
At Ritenour Counseling, we understand the challenges of separation anxiety disorder in adults. If you experience excessive fear or anxiety when separated from a loved one, you don’t have to go through it alone. Our experienced therapists provide evidence-based treatment to help you regain confidence and emotional independence.
Whether you are struggling with separation anxiety as an adult, coping with symptoms after a significant loss, or trying to break free from avoidance behaviors, our compassionate therapists are here to guide you overcome anxiety and depression.
You don’t have to let separation anxiety control your life. Contact Ritenour Counseling today to take the first step toward healing, emotional security, and greater independence.